Baking, Spinning, Waddling and Nesting

Well the title pretty much sums up my life. We had a bit of a mammoth baking session - scones banana bread and biscuits. Finally the mystery of Millies Cookies has been solved. They're not dead chewy and gooey because they're undercooked, they're mainly egg based so it's like a meringue the recipe is here. I do like economy gastronomy purely because it teaches people not to spend £16,000 a year on food (no wonder both parents have to go out to work), but sometimes I am shocked at the prices even for the 'economy' food. £12/kg for salmon? Out here it's half that. No wonder we eat so much better out here.

Now last Monday was officially 24 weeks. Yes we're a whole week past viability. How amazing is that. Now we're just browning rather than doing proper cooking. Little Django has everything he needs to survive out here. I'm also taking Vitamin C this time to help avoid PROM and all that stupid pit stuff that goes with it. I don't know what I'll do if things go the same again. Ideally I would like no pit or CFM and 'normal' pressure waves (hypnobabies only phrases from now on). So I'd like to try a bit longer to see if things get going properly on their own again. But then again that's an 'ideal world' and lets face it I do not live there. The hospital here has a 12 hour rule so if I go in basically I'm on the clock and will be under pressure. But if I stay at home anything could go wrong. Babies do die. I couldn't live with myself for trying for some silly magical normal birth rather than going in and making do with pit again.

So now we get to spinning. Little Django is transverse. I think I've felt the odd little kick/punch under my left rib so he might be flipping around a bit in there, but generally it's all on the left or right hip. Spinning babies is fantastic so I've started pelvic tilts. Lets get this little lad in the right position. I'll show him who's boss.

I'm now up to 9 stone with a 36" waist. This is my largest with Isabel so considering I've another 3 months to go things are going to get bigger. Personally I think I'm starting to look ridiculous, and I also keep spilling food on my bump. I look like a woman with a cushion shoved up my t-shirt. This has naturally started the lovely waddling. Oh and lower back pain. PAL means you generally go from one to another quicker than 'normal' women. Which means you carry more extra weight (baby weight and comfort eating), your pelvic floor is not in the best shape, and your lower back hurts so much more.

Nesting may have started. I am finding I'm cleaning more, nesting doesn't turn me into a super cleaning freak. No it just about gets me into being a normal person. The house is managing to remain at an acceptable level and I am sort of starting to sort the baby clothes. I have the newborn and 0-3 in a box anyway. Although I still look at next newborn stuff and think there's no way something newborn is coming out of me at that size.

In the supermarket the other day I heard a newborn crying. Oh that sound does go straight through you. It almost made me break down in the supermarket. How will I cope with a newborn noise again. Will I only think of Django or will it remind me of Isabel. I remember being so jealous of people in NICU with babies who cried, their babies moved and made noises. At that moment I would have given anything for a crying baby. I am nearly starting to think of myself having a baby to hold again, now and then I have a baby dream, generally a live baby but the odd dead baby pops up.

If only lightening didn't strike in the same place twice. Jet's story just reminds you we're never out the woods. Why does this happen. Why are there so many unanswered questions even nowadays. Why can medical science grow an ear on a mouse but not keep a baby alive? Why do we have to go through this. I hate being a woman who's lost a baby. I hate the pain. I can never return to the lost innocence that 'normal' people have.

Tomorrow I have my glucose test. Will have to look out a book for that one. I'm not good with needles anyway so taking blood first thing in the morning when I've had no breakfast is such a good idea. I didn't get bad with the pregnancy draws last time, the worst was when they were taking blood the last time we went to ICU to check for genetic disorders. I think that was the situation making it worse though. Oh and the nearly fainting when they put the drip in thing. Fingers crossed I have such strong vit c strengthened membranes that Django is born as the boy in the bubble.